You can't blame Paul Nuttall for getting Leanne's name wrong
I'm banned from talking politics in Welsh Border Life. Ever since wading into the XXXXXXX XXXXX affair (I'm still not allowed to mention it) the censors have been working overtime. But in the blogosphere, no-one can hear you scream, apparently. So here goes, with some insightful, critical analysis of the political landscape as we approach our fifth general election since the turn of the century.
That Leanne Wood. Ain't she got a lovely voice.
Come on, admit it. She has. So sing-songy, it's enough to help us forget all our troubles. Go on, say it again, Leanne. "Ennnn-aitch-essss".
Gorgeous. Trouble is, it helps us forget her policies, too. How's anyone supposed to vote Plaid Cymru when all we can remember about their manifesto is how Lovely Leanne pronounces "breckssssittt"?
It was clearly all too much for Paul Nuttall in the ITV Leaders' Debate - or A Word Or Two From The Also Rans, as it might better have been described, given between them the five parties on show represented just 67 of Parliament's 650 seats.
"Natalie, we have a huge trading deficit with the EU," Nuttall said to the Plaid leader in that grating Scouse whine of his. Err, sorry, who?!
"I'm nottt Natttttaleeee," she replied, further hypnotising the poor UKIP soul.
"I think Natalie is right," he added, a few minutes later, so spellbound he clearly had visions of a Hollywood film star in his midst.
"Willlll you caaaall me Leeeannnne," she purred back.
But the great thing about this election is that we now have some genuine differences amongst the parties. In stark contrast to sing-a-long-a-Leanne the night before, the following morning saw Theresa May and Ruth Davidson duffing up the SNP.
"The Prime Minister says she's a bloody difficult woman," Davidson snarled, alongside the growling May. "Well you ain't seen nothing yet!"
If the two Tory attack dogs are the Zeus and Apollo of politics, Plaid's figurehead is the Cadbury's Caramel bunny. And sadly that means there can be little future in politics for our Leanne. Very few voters take a blind bit of notice of what she says, just how she says it.
In truth, of course, in this age of "let me be absolutely clear" gibberish from politicians left, right and centre ground, that's got to be a tick in the box. Heck, she might even get a sympathy vote here in Llanyllanllan North.
A mutton for punishment, Black Sheep welcomes all comments. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to air your points of view. You can also read Black Sheep in Welsh Border Life every month. And you can catch up with his latest outbursts on Twitter @onemanandhispen
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